Tuesday, January 29, 2013

How many shades of grey...errr or is it gray?

I have always been victim of this folly.

I understand the differences and with the internet I can always readily remind myself of the "rules" - but to be honest with you, I think the English language has too many "rules" that don't make much sense as it is and I opt not to spend too much time on which spelling. I did read that when all else fails, it is grAy in America and grEy in England. 

Oddly enough, I have never lived in England (only visited) and ever since I can recall I have been prone to spelling color: colour, behavior: behaviour, and gray: grey. So I don't know how to explain that, other than it makes things more interesting to do things a different way than a person's typical peers. So, having said that...the real topic for today....

All these shades of grey. 

I live in the Pacific Northwest of the United States, in Camas, Washington to be exact. For many of you readers, if not all, this is as foreign a place to you as any place and I could easily say I live on Mars. Which I am certain would probably fascinate you more than Camas, Washington. In order to give this small little town a reference point for people, I tell them I am from Portland, Oregon, since Portland is probably, technically 9 minutes away, but the actual downtown of Portland is more like 20 minutes away. Either case, I am really close to Portland and way more people know where Portland is than Camas. 

But this gives you an idea of what I am getting at with this shades of grey stuff. In fact Camas' precise location on the globe is 45.596744, -122.399368. What does all of this mean? 

Well, taking into consideration my proximity from the Artic Circle, the Pacific Ocean and the Cascade Mountain Range this all equals:

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Stepping outside of yourself ~ Ownership

I had a very strange experience on this last Sunday. I am not entirely sure yet how to classify it really. Lately, I have been all about maintenance. I have successfully been living with Borderline Personality Disorder for the past couple years. When I say success, I mean I have not been in constant crisis, or even frequent crisis. As many of you already know, BPD is a mental illness that has no cure. There is nothing that will make you "get better" and be done with it. It is a constant fight. At times that fight is hard and tiring and at other times that fight is simply just living your skills. 

Yes, I did use the word "simply" because I can speak from this side of the fence that there is such a thing as something being simple in the world of mental illness. Believe me, I know and have tasted the feeling that nothing is simple and the disbelief that anything could ever be simple again....ever. 

So after living my skills on a regular basis something strange started to happen. I started to be able to develop the ability to step outside myself. 

Don't worry, I am not going down some weird tangent about out of body experiences and what-not... but this experience can be quite intriguing.

Friday, January 4, 2013


Now that looks pretty final! Fortunately for all the readers who do not need any extra reason to be anxious, I DO NOT buy into the whole, "2012 Doomsday"....

But it was very fitting for the point of this post. We all at times feel like that pic, I know we do because I have been there so many times that either I am a one case out of 2 billion, or it is pretty common for persons with mental health issues. 

Let's deal with the point here....