How many shades of grey...errr or is it gray?

I have always been victim of this folly.

I understand the differences and with the internet I can always readily remind myself of the "rules" - but to be honest with you, I think the English language has too many "rules" that don't make much sense as it is and I opt not to spend too much time on which spelling. I did read that when all else fails, it is grAy in America and grEy in England. 

Oddly enough, I have never lived in England (only visited) and ever since I can recall I have been prone to spelling color: colour, behavior: behaviour, and gray: grey. So I don't know how to explain that, other than it makes things more interesting to do things a different way than a person's typical peers. So, having said that...the real topic for today....

All these shades of grey. 

I live in the Pacific Northwest of the United States, in Camas, Washington to be exact. For many of you readers, if not all, this is as foreign a place to you as any place and I could easily say I live on Mars. Which I am certain would probably fascinate you more than Camas, Washington. In order to give this small little town a reference point for people, I tell them I am from Portland, Oregon, since Portland is probably, technically 9 minutes away, but the actual downtown of Portland is more like 20 minutes away. Either case, I am really close to Portland and way more people know where Portland is than Camas. 

But this gives you an idea of what I am getting at with this shades of grey stuff. In fact Camas' precise location on the globe is 45.596744, -122.399368. What does all of this mean? 

Well, taking into consideration my proximity from the Artic Circle, the Pacific Ocean and the Cascade Mountain Range this all equals:

Stepping outside of yourself ~ Ownership

I had a very strange experience on this last Sunday. I am not entirely sure yet how to classify it really. Lately, I have been all about maintenance. I have successfully been living with Borderline Personality Disorder for the past couple years. When I say success, I mean I have not been in constant crisis, or even frequent crisis. As many of you already know, BPD is a mental illness that has no cure. There is nothing that will make you "get better" and be done with it. It is a constant fight. At times that fight is hard and tiring and at other times that fight is simply just living your skills. 

Yes, I did use the word "simply" because I can speak from this side of the fence that there is such a thing as something being simple in the world of mental illness. Believe me, I know and have tasted the feeling that nothing is simple and the disbelief that anything could ever be simple again....ever. 

So after living my skills on a regular basis something strange started to happen. I started to be able to develop the ability to step outside myself. 

Don't worry, I am not going down some weird tangent about out of body experiences and what-not... but this experience can be quite intriguing.

2012

Now that looks pretty final! Fortunately for all the readers who do not need any extra reason to be anxious, I DO NOT buy into the whole, "2012 Doomsday"....

But it was very fitting for the point of this post. We all at times feel like that pic, I know we do because I have been there so many times that either I am a one case out of 2 billion, or it is pretty common for persons with mental health issues. 

Let's deal with the point here....