Sunday, July 1, 2012

Where does this line lead....

I have taken many pains to trace backward my current experience. I have been focusing on taking care to understanding why I seem to be struggling more lately.

Self esteem.

While I have addressed this during my stages of DBT, I do see I have more room to improve in it. I am surprised to have discovered that the way that I view myself is the anchor that has dug into the bottom of the ocean. Everything that happens from that on determines where my boat floats. I have traced this fluctuation of over-eating to over-drinking to over-spending and back around to over-eating (or under eating, privately eating and privately purging) Really that kind of eating is termed Emotional Eating, it is not mindful eating, which has always been a goal of mine that seems to need perpetual attention. Of course this understanding really shouldn't be a surprise, I mean how many times have we heard that self-esteem is the bases for our perception of life and that our only limitations in life are our perceptions. Never-the-less, I was surprised to come to understand how controlling self-esteem is.