Sunday, January 10, 2010

January 10th - 17th 2010

THIS WEEK:

We need to take another week to really get the idea of mindfulness and how it relates to our daily activities. For those of you that are advance DBT students, you know that an extra week of mindfulness practices is as good as gold.

During the course of this week however, I want us to pay attention to our objectives. When we are interacting with the world around us we have objectives.  When standing in line at Blockbuster you have the objective to pay for your rental and get home. If the line is long and  the people you are standing in line with are rude, you may want to revisit your objective and reconsider it. Perhaps renting a movie isn't worth the possible irritation of staying in your environment. If you decide to remain with the same objective, then the only option you have at that point is to keep clear in mind your objective and tolerate until you have reached it.

Granted, renting a movie at Blockbuster is an unlikely place that you will find yourself needing to take a peek at your DBT notebook and pulling a skill out in order for you to tolerate your experience. However, for some a simple interaction like that can create much distress. For most of us though, it is the bigger things in life that we need to spend time reconsidering our objective and then perhaps reinforcing it or make alterations to it as the need may be.

Either way the above example has some merit to it. The wait in line will be much more tolerable if we clearly see the light at the end of the tunnel. In larger things in life, getting through a rough conflict, that light may seem so faint. The only way to make that light brighter is to reinforce your objective. If it is wise mind justified, then keeping that objective close at hand, frequent reminders of it will light up the end of that tunnel very brightly.

Practical ways to keep your objective clear in mind are as simple as jotting it down in a notebook you can carry on your person or in your car, maybe sticky notes. Something that you can see easily on a daily basis until that objective has been met. Another way to keep that objective close, is to set aside a time each day to meditate briefly on it. For really large objectives this one with the first suggestion can be really helpful. I have found that when I am trying to endure through reaching my goal or objective I have taken a journal approach. Scribble down some of my barriers, list things I have done thus far to reach that goal. Keeping it near, fresh and clear can go a long ways in tolerating. It also affords us an opportunity to make choices.

TRY THIS: take a specific objective you are working for. Write it down and list the ways you have thus far been able to tolerate while you are reaching for it. Look at those steps and ask yourself, 'Is there another way I can look at this step to help me to get what I want?' you might be surprised to find that instead of just coping while you reach your objective, you might just be able to enjoy the learning experience of achieving your objective!